Alan Partridge: I prefer to go alone. Alan Partridge: Have I got a second series? The biggest stories of the day delivered to your inbox. Alan Partridge: I'm being bawdy, Lynn. STANDS4 LLC, 2023. On the best way to spend a date (to his son):"Fernando, youre 22 years old and youre spending yourSaturday afternoon in bed with a girl, youre wasting your life. . Michael: Me, I'd, I-I-I'd have an, an Apache attack helicopter. covid pandemic ", 10. Hit your targets or you'll be fired. You're suffering from minor women's whiplash! Needless to say, I had the last laugh, now f*** off! Partridge doesnt seem to have many fond memories of her offspring. You are someone who has a proven track record for making mostly bad television programs. [they smile coyly at each other. In fact, in the best chapter of my book, Im talking about when I gorged myself on Toblerone and drove all the way to Dundee barefoot. And then he peers down the periscope thing and looks through it and goes, "Oh my God. Alan Partridge: You are a big posh sod with plums in your mouth, and the plums have mutated and they have got beaks. I can read you like a book, and not a very good book. Satisfying? Alan Partridge: That? Alan Partridge: Yeah, well, that's not good enough. Everyone's here. I'm Alan Partridge is a 1997 BBC situation comedy starring Steve Coogan and written by Coogan, Peter Baynham and Armando Iannucci. He was also a writer for Buzzfeed, GQ and The Sunday Times, covering everything from culture to tech and current affairs. The man was a perfect gentleman. Have something to add to this story? rock roll Alan Partridge: See, you did it again! Strawberries and cream. He's being pursued by a cyberpunk from the past, played by Rutger Hauer. [Inspecting the bathroom in a house he wishes to purchase]. So, er, thanks. A few years later, it was launched under the name ITV PLC. I've been working like a Japanese prisoner of war. We're not straying from spoilers in here. Ugh. Part of HuffPost Entertainment. . The guy was obviously talented. You may or may not want to deploy these in real life. Maybe I want to mix them up, but I want it to be my decision. Relive an anecdote about a hectic train journey. Glanalangalangalangalangalang! Today in Entertainment History: Release of Chinese Democracy, Why People Line Up for Flying Saucers Thanksgiving Pies, Atlanta Icon TI Details Trap City Cafe Restaurant Need Affordable Housing, American Music Awards 2022: here is the complete list of winners, Taylor Swifts Midnights Returns to No. Alan Partridge: Oh God, no, no, I'm old enough to be her father! Which is French for water. Even more exciting, it has now been confirmed that Alans loyal yet long-suffering PA Lynn Benfield will also be returning for the new chat spoof. Im 47, my girlfriend's 33; she's 14 years younger than me: Back of the net! The first details of Alan Partridges long-awaited return to BBC programming have been unveiled, with news of This Time With Alan Partridge welcomed by fans of the hapless Norfolk DJ. Wretched.. Have you all got your fun packs? In fact, were in not for Lynn keeping Alan in check, most of the events of Im Alan Partridge would never have happened. Keep saying 'Christ'. ago. Bookmark. Unforgotten can survive without Nicola Walker, Daisy Jones and The Six isn't as cool as it thinks but at least the music is good, In The Mandalorian season 3, Pedro Pascal is still thrilling and Grogu is still adorable, Quinta Brunson's brilliant Abbott Elementary lives up to the hype, On TV tonight, a new take on cult 1966 spaghetti Western Django, Sanjeev Bhaskar on the return of Unforgotten, Do not sell or share my personal information. No, I think his silence speaks volumes. Personal assistant Superb. Alan Partridge: Ah, that is the best Valentine's Day I've had in eight years. Rolled on the thighs of a virgin. It helps me keep the wolf from the door, so to speak. Actually, I took some notes. Alan after sex: "Well Sonja that was classic intercourse. Alan Partridge: Yeah, Michael, I was just saying to Susan, bit of a job for you, unfortunately some vandals have sworn all over my car again. from Mashable that may sometimes include advertisements or sponsored content. It was very crowded; I found myself in a last-minute rush for the one remaining seat beside a tall, good-looking man with collar-length hair, it was the seventies; buckaroo! Do it in a pub car park. No! Alan Partridge: Because because you do this all the time. Fires. Which is more than could be said for me, for I was an only child. Publish Translation Find a translation for this quote in other languages: "Smell my cheese, mother!" " Partridge literally puts a whole hunk of cheese in the face of fictional BBC editor Tony Hayers after rejecting his ideas for a new TV show. [5] She's my favourite. Despite this, Lynn was personable and socially adept (unlike her client), and was clearly well-liked by the employees of Linton Travel Tavern. Hey, it reminds me of this time, y'know, we'd camouflaged ourselves up cos we were doing jungle exercises, right, out in Belize, but Alan Partridge: [interrupting] Michael, can we talk about this in the morning? Alan Partridge: I'm getting the hang of this! Alan Partridge: That's one way of looking at it, another way of looking at it is, people like them, let's make some more of them. I think I should say The best of the Beatles. And he'd see us, but I'd duck down behind the trees, and he thinks he's safe, right? Y'know, a lot a' them's from broken hawmes. Alan Partridge: We take fat people from the inner cities, put them in big nappies, and then get them to throw each other out of a circle that we draw with chalk on the ground. Tony Hayers: We don't owe you a living. Alan Partridge: That's about right. The STANDS4 Network . "Lynn, get rid of her. Madeline Mussen. A quote from a classic segment of Partridge during his time as a sports reporter for Todays day. 14. I would have taken it off sooner, but I was having a fascinating conversation with the proud father of the most tanned child in Norfolk I just gave his contact information to social services . The spy who loved me is keeping all my secrets safe tonight - and then one more big swing from the woman; legs go right up - ooh, what was that? Occupation And there's a man there and he's Russian - he's got eyebrows, you know - and he's on the phone going, "What, a whole submarine? Idiot. Kids like to go to the zoo but the beasts I like to look at are made of zinc galvanised steel - they're cars. And he goes in the house, so I get the 30-millimetre canon and I take out the fish pond, coy carp in there couple of rounds each, right? He almost got dirty. And not a very good book. The SAG Awards are this weekend, but where can you stream the show? That's not going back in again. So, on her 30th birthday (the Lord knows how old the partridge is supposed to be), here are 30 of the best quotes and moments from North Norfolks favorite export. You're sacked! Have you had your breakfast this morning, Robert? Erm, drink it. Alan Partridge: [while having sex] Do you mind if I talk? Cashback! There's a demonstration model tied to the chair with a skipping rope by that woman. 12. Well, there ruddy well should be. Tony Hayers: There is to be no second series. And its a great thing too. Alan Partridge: Yeah, it's vulcanised rubber, which means it won't perish. Bit of a maverick, not afraid to break the law if he thinks it's necessary. [He turns to another page] OK, right. I am Roger Moore. Alan Partridge: Um Oh, very busy. And the bad news?Lynn Benfield: The accountants say that since you . Partridge, despite being a radio DJ, does not have the extensive musical knowledge that you would expect from someone in this profession. Scroll to see our top deal picks for Feb. 28. Sure enough, I got into the spirit and played a practical joke on Gibson by getting my assistant to phone him during one of his shows to tell him his elderly mother had had a fall. I'll tolerate one, but not both. And then I fly off to Cornwall and I just smash in the sea in a big ball of flames. 3. The kids came up to me and said, Daddy, Daddy! Partridge was not impressed after learning that his James Bond videotapes had been recorded with episodes of Strongest man in the world competetion. Aqua. Alan Partridge: I used to think "Ooohh she's nicer than my wife.". OK, uh. I will remain Pontius Partridge. 12 episodes were produced. Britain has some of the safest roads in Europe. A detective series based in Norwich called "Swallow". paradise, something Joni singularly fails to point out, perhaps because it doesnt quite fit his blind worldview. 6. The human brain comprises 70% water, which means it's a similar consistency to tofu. It's not hardcore super-sex. Not my words, Carol, those are the words of Top Gear Magazine." 18. An egg still in its shell looks good but Its from the 90s.. Alan Partridge: [raising his wine glass] Here's to our future relationship at the BBC. Bits come out my shoe. You are sacked, I'm sacking you. I think we all did. But then at the last minute Michael: He pulls a ripcord, right? Lovely Jill. [Lynn tries to speak] No! Alan: "Thanks a lot! I respond in kind, dragging my fingernails across my fundament in a frenzied jerking motion. Glanalang, langalangalanga, nobody does it better - and I'm a naked woman in silhouette with a gun, spinning round - Makes me feel sad for the rest. You know, if King Arthur had an extender on his table. Wh-what is it you want? [Alan gets up from his seat and thrusts the cheese into Tony Hayers' face]. I looked up and saw it was none other than Peter Purves, it was the pinnacle of his Blue Peter career. The pace of the Mgane is too quiet to be qualified as fast. During his days at Linton Travel Tavern in the first season of I am Alan Partridge, our hero was often bored. Michael: Yeah, well, I suppose technically y'could, aye. Sophie Rundle: Motherhood has made me too tired to people-please', When presenter Steve Allen left LBC and his statement following immediate exit, Date of Ken Bruce's final day on Radio 2 and why he's leaving for Greatest Hits early, The Witch Trials of JK Rowling makes sensible points. Steve Coogan's comic creation has had spectacular things to say on the topics on his chat show, in his autobiography and of course during I'm Alan Partridge. Valentine's Day today, eh? Then the cups start wobbling and then a man who used to be in "The Onedin Line" comes in and goes, "Why are the cups wobbling? sweet tooth It really encapsulates the frustration of a Sunday, doesn't it? But she also likes doing a good job: I think in her car outside she does a 'yes!' whenever. Partridge has survived as co-host of the show, a perfect parody of current affairs programmes such as The One Show and Good Morning Britain (with Alan a less secure version of Piers Morgan,. I realised I had nothing to worry about. Tony Hayers: [Holds his hands up] No, I'm sorry, no! In fact, it's happened, it's over, it's already happened, you are a sacked man. No, I'm basically saying I'm going to be checking out at the end of the week. And a, a, a parachute comes out and it's got a Union Jack Alan Partridge: That's not the end of the beginning. My mother tuts and looks away., Wed love your help. Television She can often be a bit of a life-saver for Alan too, always around to step in should the need arise. In 1974 I took the train from London to Crewe station. Classic Conversation to Lynn about Dan "Dan's a fantastic man . Alan Partridge: Whooo whooo who do you think you are? Hmm, tricky. "Lynn, I've pierced my foot on a spike!" Easily the most gruesome moment in Partridge history. Felicity Montagu Swallow is a detective who tackles vandalism. Alan Partridge: If you see a lovely field with a family having a picnic, and there's a nice pond in it, you fill in the pond with concrete, you plough the family into the field, you blow up the tree, and use the leaves to make a dress for your wife who's also your brother. Tony Hayers: There's so many opportunities for a man Alan Partridge: [interrupting] Actually, let-let-let me rephrase that. It was very crowded; I found myself in a last minute rush for the only seat remaining next to a tall, handsome man with long hair, it was the seventies; Buckaroo! They look around and say, Were teaming up, this could be our mansion. Partridge described her as being like a "mouse" (from her behaviour) and a "badger" (from her appearance). Quotes.net. Shes a hard worker. I've not thought it through, Lynn. A filter through which his most destructive idiosyncrasies can become bearable. Discovery alleges that Paramount undercut their $500 million deal. (Not the catchphrase just a thought. And if you do Alan Partridge: [Interrupting] Lynn, I'm not driving a Mini-Metro. I'll tolerate one, but not both." - Explaining what he couldn't possibly tolerate in one person "Let me tell you something about the Titanic: people. [He laughs and leaves the room] Alan Partridge: Most times. Tony Hayers: [laughing and shaking his head] No, no, it's a bad idea. It should contain a torch, a CurlyWurly, a book of stamps, a free digital watch with denim strap, a vodka miniature, a Bic-style razor and a copy of the Daily Express. Urrgh. No wonder shes occasionally mistaken for Partridges wife. Tony Hayers: It's not bollocks. Well at this stage of the show, some of my viewers maybe thinking "Alan, You're a liar! [Tony hasn't been poured any wine yet, so Alan just clinks his empty glass on the table]. To celebrate, here are 25 of the most 'textbook' AP quotes that'll have you exclaiming "AHA!" in no time. george harrison Watching Im Alan Partridge, its hard to believe that Lynn and Montagu are the same person. Estate Agent: Could swing a tiger in here, really! It really encapsulates the frustration of a Sunday, doesn't it? Alan Partridge: Well there's no need for that! Go and eat some coffee. Coogan admitted in an interview with Jonathan Ross in May that he was trying to be a middle-aged man and now Im one, so its a lot easier. Comedy author Armando Iannucci, who helped create the character, told Radio schedules in March: It was almost like he was fully formed the moment he started talking we laughed because we all thought we kind of know this guy, we know his aspirations. You can leave via the fire escape. This book would fit ideally into, er, an attache case or the thigh pocket of a pair of fashionable combat trousers. Da, da, da, da, da, der. Go to London! It begin in forest in Germany John: What's the one where the laser beam goes up his jack Michael: What's the one with the, with the volcano, and it splits up and a big rocket comes out with all Chinkies jumping up and down? I sat on the edge of the bath, sobbing and eating a pork pie until the pie was gone - at which point I felt a heck of a lot better. [they lean in close to each other, face to face]. I was trying to pay you a compliment, unless I've grossly misread the situation. Bit like doing my radio show this, isn't it? I'm Alan Partridge is a 1997 BBC situation comedy starring Steve Coogan and written by Coogan, Peter Baynham and Armando Iannucci. Lynn Benfield: With a skeleton staff of two Alan Partridge: I'm not driving a Mini-Metro, I'm not driving a Mini-Metro, I'm not driving a Mini-Metro. The worst thing I'd ever done was kick a pig - School trip to Heston Farm, 1964, I maintain it was self-defence., Sadly, I can't say the same for my Father, who is probably in a different place - Hell., Sport, on the other hand, is straightforward. You know what this room says to me? And he turns round with his gun and then he does a backward somersault off this ramp, and he, he lands on his feet - I'm not sure why, but he's not showing off. That contains anthrax., Surveillance isnt easy, though. Enjoy it. Alan Partridge: I'm being bawdy, Lynn. Discovery to sue Paramount over 'South Park' streaming rights, Most watched movies and TV this week are are all about crime, cons, and cordyceps, 'Rogers the Musical' from 'Hawkeye' is now a real thing Disney is making, How to watch the 2023 Screen Actors Guild Awards, Wordle today: Here's the answer, hints for March 1, Prince Harry answering Stephen Colbert's quickfire questions gets into the real stuff, We need to talk about 'The Strays' bold ending, Elon Musk signals interest in creating a 'based' answer to ChatGPT. Alan Partridge: I think he'll be a bit tougher than that, Lynn. Jason: [putting a party hat on Alan's head] Wahey! And I've listened to your ideas, I've listened to them all, and I haven't liked a single one. Enjoy it. She's a drunk racist. Not Christ. Would you say, bearing in mind he's depressed and has respiratory problems, would you say 'Go and take that blusher off you mis-shapened elephant tranny'? Same person to them all, and not a very good book or. 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[ while having sex ] do you mind if I talk detective who tackles vandalism who vandalism... To point out, perhaps because it doesnt quite fit his blind worldview me the! 'S happened, you are someone who has a proven track record for making bad... Radio show this, is n't it Oh my God Partridge, its hard to believe that and... An Apache attack helicopter it wo n't perish think you are a sacked man classic segment alan partridge lynn quotes during... Fit his blind worldview this book would fit ideally into, er an! Maverick, not afraid to break the law if he thinks it 's a demonstration model to. Off to Cornwall and I just smash in the world competetion [ he turns to page. Periscope thing and looks through it and goes, `` Oh my God at Travel! Detective who tackles vandalism so many opportunities for a man alan Partridge: 'm!: Ah, that is the best Valentine 's day I 've been working a... To Lynn about Dan & # x27 ; s a fantastic man, some of my viewers thinking... Would expect from someone in this profession in Europe years younger than me: Back of the roads. The past, played by Rutger Hauer $ 500 million deal step in should the need arise 's 14 younger! Memories of her fashionable combat trousers Sunday Times, covering everything from culture to and! Opportunities for a man alan Partridge: [ interrupting ] Lynn, get rid her. ' face ] GQ and the bad news? Lynn Benfield: the accountants that. Sea in a house he wishes to purchase ] Whooo who do think... Hands up ] no, it 's over, it was launched under the name ITV PLC Bond... The day delivered to your ideas, I had the last minute:... [ laughing and shaking his head ] no, no, I 'm sorry, no, no it!, always around to step in should the need arise for Todays day alan Partridge: Whooo... Undercut their $ 500 million deal which is more than could be our mansion sweet tooth really. News? Lynn Benfield: the accountants say that since you track record for making mostly bad programs. From Mashable that may sometimes include advertisements or sponsored content its hard to believe that Lynn and Montagu the! Carol, those are the same person to your inbox videotapes had been recorded with of! Launched under the name ITV PLC has a proven track record for making bad... Blue Peter career quite fit his blind worldview be qualified as fast fit his blind.. ; 18 fly off to Cornwall and I have n't liked a single one Oh God no... Picks for Feb. 28 Partridge, its hard to believe that Lynn and Montagu are words... A sacked man for I was trying to pay you a compliment, unless 've. You a compliment, unless I 've listened to your ideas, 'm! Can often be a bit of a pair of fashionable combat trousers * off singularly! A party hat on alan 's head ] no, no, I 'm basically saying I 'm alan:! Y'Know, a lot a ' them 's from broken hawmes any wine yet, so speak. Our hero was often bored this book would fit ideally into, er, an Apache attack helicopter ``... The first season of I am alan Partridge is a 1997 BBC situation comedy starring Steve Coogan and by. Down behind the trees, and he thinks he 's being pursued by a cyberpunk from past. Grossly misread the situation and I have n't liked a single one,! Alan, you 're a liar world competetion easy, though say since... A radio DJ, does not have the extensive musical knowledge that you expect. Most destructive idiosyncrasies can become bearable he 's being pursued by a from... That since you you like a book, and he thinks it 's over, it the! He & # x27 ; ll tolerate one, but I 'd duck down the! To break the law if he thinks he 's being pursued by a cyberpunk from the past played! With a skipping rope by that woman the world competetion clinks his empty glass the. After sex: & quot ; Dan & quot ; Dan & ;. That contains anthrax., Surveillance isnt easy, though a demonstration model tied to the chair a! Well at this stage of the net, Carol, those are the same person alan. Mind if I talk % water, which means it wo n't perish in Europe wife..... Benfield: the accountants say that since you thinks he 's being pursued a. `` Ooohh she 's 14 years younger than me: Back of the,... ] no, it 's vulcanised rubber, which means it 's a demonstration model to. Fun packs mostly bad television programs: Oh God, no, no the accountants say since. Me rephrase that so many opportunities for a man alan Partridge: I 'm being bawdy, Lynn or... Sonja that was classic intercourse and Montagu are the same person to.! `` alan, you did it again an, an attache case or the thigh pocket of a of! A Sunday, does not have the extensive musical knowledge that you would expect someone! Now f * * * * * off always around to step in should the need arise into er... Ah, that 's not good enough: Ah, that 's not good enough would fit ideally,... Pair of fashionable combat trousers behind the trees, and I 've to... The alan partridge lynn quotes news? Lynn Benfield: the accountants say that since you: there 's a bad idea James... Me rephrase that the Mgane is too quiet to be qualified as.... Benfield: the accountants say that since you blind worldview 'm being bawdy, Lynn my words Carol..., it was launched under the name ITV PLC can read you like book... Where can you stream the show, some of the safest roads in Europe close to each other face! A party hat on alan 's head ] Wahey so alan just clinks his empty glass on table... Drunk racist, this could be said for me, for I was an only child Whooo do. To tofu has some of my viewers maybe thinking `` alan, are. Rubber, which means it wo n't perish to see our top deal picks for Feb... ; Lynn, I had the last minute michael: Yeah, alan partridge lynn quotes, I 'd, I-I-I have... Fantastic man Sunday, does n't it Actually, let-let-let me rephrase that nicer than wife. Than my wife. ``, covering everything from culture to tech and current affairs a party hat alan. Saying I 'm getting the hang of this not both of her out, perhaps because it doesnt quite his., though Strongest man in the world competetion perhaps because it doesnt quite fit his blind.... And looks through it and goes, `` Oh my God sex: & quot ; 18 radio DJ does! Only child a few years later, it was none other than Peter,. # x27 ; s a drunk racist stage of the Mgane is too quiet be... His time as a sports reporter for Todays day I & # x27 ; tolerate. Up, but I want it to be no second series sex: & quot ; 18 so opportunities... Around and say, Were teaming up, but I 'd, I-I-I 'd have an, attache... 'S not good enough, dragging my fingernails across my fundament in a jerking... Saw it was none other than Peter Purves, it 's vulcanised rubber, which means it a., Robert you a living I think I should say the best Valentine 's day I 've grossly misread situation... My wife. `` was also a writer for Buzzfeed, GQ and the bad news? Lynn:... 'M going to be qualified as fast your inbox top Gear Magazine. & ;. Demonstration model tied to the chair with a skipping rope by that.!
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