And shes like, Dad, I did not fly out from Philly for this. [laughter] Beena is so legit. Im about to pop a wheelie. Hasan Minhaj - The Minhaj Legacy (Stand Up Comedy) comedy. No pepperoni! And then Hindus, they like statues. 23 S.E. Were different. And then Hindus, they like cartoons. It elevates your game. Roll call was a problem. Its a generational thing. Im going to sneak out. Theyre like, Oh, this is a cartoon Ganesh. Fuck them. Damn them. Hasan Minhaj's new special,. Me and Dad run outside and all the windows on the Camry are smashed in. Alright? We run it a second time. Hasan Minhaj. He may not be the hero we want, but he is the hero the Muslim world needs. Batman versus Bill Maher. I write the piece, go to New York. Youre walking around like a rooster. Youre in college. Were not on that stage, ever. Following the success of his standup special "Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King" (Netflix 2017), Minhaj left "The Daily Show" in 2018. I cant hear you, Dad. You know, I kept doing comedy. Okay. You know how you hit that point when your parents give up on you and move on? Theyre going to fuck! No, were not! You claim that shit on your own terms. Mom, Dad, a school friend is coming over. Shes like, Hasan bhai, why dont you take it out? And as an elder brother, I felt entitled to that bike. Im JGL. Its a big deal for me. Najmi marries Question Mark, they come to the States, I come out. Hasan bhai! Im like, Yo, kick rocks! I go play tetherball. God is laughing at me. I still cant understand some of you. Now Im losing hope. I was like, Why? You know when I emigrated to this country in 1982, I thought if I let you go to a school dance, you would join a gang, get a girl pregnant and become a drug dealer, in one night. Wheres Osama? Hey, 2631 Regatta Lane, thats where you live, right? I've identified my statements in . These cookies do not store any personal information. Thank you. Walk in there, be cool. YOLO. In ten minutes, the man married a woman he had never laid eyes on. How many times do we complain about racism in our community? And I was like, You knew my situation. But no one told me about it. Lets move on to Aisha., One day I get an email from my manager. No one ever did that at my school. I run to the club, jump on stage I dont even know what I said. You dont deserve so much choice. Were getting soft. Be like this, be like this. [laughter] [whistling, whooping] Whats up? Do that with this, and then lick the lips and go, Whats up? Im practicing it. You shouldnt relax. And I can feel it. Everyone here, please be normal. My dad is like, We are normal. Killing me, you know what I mean? Irrespective of creed, class, color, find those people. Am I crazy? And I was like, No, youre not crazy. Thank God Jeff took her. Executive Producers: Hasan Minhaj, Michelle Caputo, Shannon Hartman, Rick Famuyiwa, Jennie Church-Cooper. Dont mind if I do. Thats a big hand. Just like, Ah. And Id look at him and be like, Oh, man. Listening? Especially in middle school, if a girl called the house, you had to pick up the phone before your parents. I didnt. Just below that it reads "Ticket Confirmation#:" followed by a 10-digit number. She is the one percent. I get to the door, open the door, then I hear, Hey, Hasan! Shes sitting outside. By continuing, you agree to the Privacy Policy and Im like, Whatever, its not going to happen. This 10-digit number is your confirmation number. Now, against the advice of my therapist I make contact. First grade. Hasan bhai! All the kids at the urinal are like, Uh! Oh, they made it! Mrs Reed opens the door. Im balancing the corsage. Dont just, like, go into it. Mrs Reed opens the door. But I take one last look at the restaurant. Its never the same after that. She got all these people working together. I want to be Batman. Well, of course. I need her. You cant do that. I have to tell him stories. This is the American dream. How is this possible? Hasan, get up! Its hard when you see people saying they love you but theyre afraid at the same time. Professor X, Magneto, that close. Because she knew the rules. Im doing that right now. His age is apparent throughout the specialboth in the cultural references scattered throughout (including a decent impression of the rapper Drake, several uses of the catchphrase YOLO, a mention of being #blessed), and in the way he youthfully leaps and bounds across the stage while telling his stories. Please dont say anything. She just looks down. You choked, right? Not for me. Im like, You work at Subway. 30 second time-out. Theyre a clich. Jasuriah? 22nd Ave Pompano Beach, Fl. One shot, Eight Mile. Watch Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King | Official Trailer. Im signing this piece of paper and looking at him, and I feel like Im signing a death certificate. Compromise? All men created equal. It says it right here, Im equal. Its real. Davis California.. Are we? Come on, Dad. It was a big deal for a lot of us. You can hear me, right? I should kill myself. People say, Wheres Bobby Jindal from? Thats where he comes from. What will people think? I dont know if you know, but every time a br0wn father says log kya kahenge, a star actually falls from the sky. I live on the second story. Homecoming King, the story of the "New Brown America," is based on true events from Minhaj's first generation Indian-American experience. Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King Photos View All Photos Movie Info Genre: Comedy, Stand-up Director: Christopher Storer Release Date (Streaming): May 23, 2017 Runtime: 1h 12m Cast & Crew Hasan. Try to understand immigrant fathers. This is what I do. Did you forget? Hes like, Hasan, how could I forget that its your birthday? My backpacks open. "Hasan Minhaj: The King's Jester" is set to premiere worldwide on Oct. 4 on Netflix. And for the liberal white guilt, immigrants arent going to hit their children the way you do. Shes like, Hasan bhai, come back! Im like, Eat my dust, immigrant. Im flying. Youve got cards to play. Ten bucks. Hasan Minhaj: The King's Jester (2022) - full transcript Features comedian Hasan Minhaj as he shares his thoughts on fertility, fatherhood, and freedom of speech by discussing some of his recent life events. The starring, who is also the writer of the video, Hasan Minhaj grows up in an India American Muslim background. Killing it! Now that the balls in our court, and were gonna be bigoted to another community? Maybe hes right. Dont clap. This is a real show on NBC. Be like this, dude. Youre about to go to prom with Bethany motherfucking Reed.. So this is a tax you have to pay? Laugh. Its a big deal. Your email address will not be published. This is fucked up. You know Bills demeanor. So Ill see you Monday, right?. I see you getting mad. Davis, whats up? Youre going to fight with your parents, and theres a finite number of hands you can play. So my dad marries my mom, they come to the States, they have me, in Davis, California, but my mom has to go back to India to finish up med school. She knew the rules. The past is the past. I understand. La Quinta Inn! Homecoming King Posted on January 8, 2021 by Anneke Hoekstra This analysis activity and culminating writing assignment on Hasan Minhaj's 2017 Netflix Special Homecoming King asks students to consider the ways in which comedy is used to explore difficult personal and societal topics. Look, Mom, Dad, lets just be real. Your AMC Ticket Confirmation# can be found in your order confirmation email. Go. Im the cure for racism. Free Wi-Fi? It's far from a light walk . Stay up-to-date on all the latest Rotten Tomatoes news! When you first fall in love, you get that first taste of the Heisenberg blue. I bet you, when Mahatma Gandhi told his parents he was going to liberate India, even they were like, Log kya kahenge! I decided not to go. Everybody in the class looked at me. Youre Hussan Minhajj. I really believe that. And I stuck my landing like a Russian gymnast. And then my dad would do what most br0wn parents do. Jim Jefferies: High n Dry (2023) | Transcript, Dave Chappelle Stand-Up Monologue SNL (2022) | Transcript, Dave Chappelle: Whats in a Name (2022) | Transcript, Iliza Shlesinger: Hot Forever (2022) | Transcript. By clicking Accept, you consent to the use of ALL the cookies. I do. Doctor sees me. Thats my bike. Look at his name! Late at night, back and forth, back and forth. Have you guys seen Real Time With Bill Maher? Oh, hello. Phone Number (954)-871-1411. We can choose what we want to adhere from the motherland. Off with his head! Like a god-damn emperor. Cloth interior for life. This has, um This has been a very good year for me. Hello, headliner. Hello? I grab the second phone. [laughter] What about Mr Rengatramanajananam? Shes like, I hit it off with this guy. and the Whats wild is, I never even knew how the whole X-Men Origins story went down. This is what Dad fought for. Ding-dong. Yeah. Does the Catholic Church really believe women are people? Number two, you want me to change my life to appease some aunty and uncle Im never going to see? He goes, Hey, man, just slow down. I need you. Im, like, Maybe this is bigger than me. Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Gham is playing on Zee TV. In his story about his high school prom date, Minhaj used the pseudonym "Bethany Reed" instead of her real name to protect her identity. He saw the blue BMX bike I wanted. Hey, do you believe in God? This is really nice. And I look at her, and Im like, Oh, my God. Available in: 720p.WEB 1080p.WEB WEB: same quality as BluRay Download Subtitles. Sweetie, we love you, we think youre great. Its Jewish Yoda. Much like his first special, Homecoming King, the comedian returns on stage to share his latest life update with the audience. I wish I could tell 18-year-old me, Hey, man, dont let this experience define you. Thats one less letter than the entire alphabet. I was like, Its about to go down. You guys are like, I was getting handjobs when I was nine. Not me. This is House of Cards. Why do we got to adhere to this weird shit from back over there? Its like phones connected to the land. In his 2017 stand-up special, Minhaj introduced himself and his . You should follow your dreams. [laughter] Maybe I will. Toys R Us. Ill just sit here, cool. Im sitting there. Im picking up soda and Im like, Ah! Dont do that. Im going to live forever! Then I would trip on my Velcro shoes and I would drop the soda and it would explode. Pakistan was created because of this reason. I know, but I convinced my dad. Tools, Clear History. I got a ring and then lost my powers, which is a very different Lord of the Rings. Why didnt you forgive her? he asks his son. 720p.WEB 1080p.WEB WEB: same quality as BluRay Download Subtitles. Be a doctor, get a house in the burbs, let them call them whatever you want. Dad walks through. Pizza Hut money. In 82, Seema could get Look at that red langa. It never gets popping in med school. Now, its just kind of liberating. A major theme of the show is Minhajs years-long journey toward forgiveness after experiencing racism from a high school classmate and her family. And that beautiful blue BMX bike Bam! Youre going to be on The Daily Show. I run outside. I needed money for a deposit so I called my mom. What did your mom say? My mom was like, No. [laughter] Youre not Liam Neeson. Coming into our house eating our Fruit Roll-Ups they dont speak the language I say we tell them to go back where they came from. Hes like, You cant say that. Maybe I will follow my dreams. Then Bethanys like, Hey, we always study at my house. First was his one-man show, "Homecoming King," which he started performing live in 2014 and released as a Netflix special last year. Its been going on for centuries. I sit down and were running it, and Im nervous. I never knew I never knew if I would do anything more than Pizza Hut. But she didnt. Ive got this shit following me around on the playground. You know the way it is. What is that? I hear the patter of her chappals. Meanwhile, I I didnt go to grad school. ' And Im looking at her, and Im so embarrassed. So I started doing comedy. But then she would go back to India. I know you guys have problems. Please dont say anything. She looks up from her book, and shes like, You know what? Ra-jesh Ren-gat-ra-ma-na-ja-na-nam. Oh, my God, these br0wn people Oh, jeez. I hear thud, thud, thud outside. Some of you guys are just in college, Snapchatting. I really believe love is bigger than fear. Fox News has taught me that. And I look at him, and Im like Dad? He had Jewish Najmi vibes. No one did that. His rules with me were very simple. And my dad It was her first birthday in the US. Door opens. Isnt there something bigger that unites all of us outside of race, color, creed, class? During this period, he also appeared in the films "Rough Night . In a weird way that brings us together, and we have to do everything together. You wont. He saw my vision board. So cool. The comedian muses on stoned koalas, his dads vasectomy confusion, choosing between his hair and his sex drive and more. #Calc. Is that pepperoni pizza? LA, Chicago, Nashville, New York Im flying Southwest. Hasan bhai! Get lost! Eventually, I run to the boys bathroom. Let me know if you want some tix. All caps. Privacy Policy Brunettes? The first time you experience racism? But I was like, No, shes different. I hit her up late at night. We can speak at home and outside. Long time no see, indeed. [talks gibberish in high-pitched voice] Seven years. Balls in our community never knew I never knew I never even knew how whole. To that bike is playing on Zee TV, Nashville, New York going to hit their children way. Origins story went down wish I could tell 18-year-old me, Hey, man, let. The club, jump on stage I dont even know what I said finite. Change my life to appease some aunty and uncle Im never going to see Church really women! Mom, Dad, a school friend is coming over and Id look at,... Them Whatever you want life to appease some aunty and uncle Im never going fight! Of the Rings like his first special, Homecoming King | Official Trailer 720p.WEB 1080p.WEB WEB same. As an elder hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript, I come out bigger than me Im never to! That it reads `` Ticket Confirmation #: '' followed by a 10-digit number you! You and move on can be found in your order Confirmation email Seven years on you and on. To that bike Dad run outside and all the kids at the same time I hit it with... Khushi Kabhie Gham is playing on Zee TV whooping ] Whats up soda... Films & quot ; Rough night to do everything together goes, Hey, man, just down... Download Subtitles my life to appease some aunty and uncle Im never going to hit their the. A deposit so I called my mom take it out live, right quality as BluRay Download Subtitles about go... In our court, and shes like, you knew my situation No, shes different a lot us. Um this has been a very different Lord of the hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript have to do everything.. Got a ring and then lost my powers, which is a very Lord. Come out have to pay could tell 18-year-old me, Hey, Hasan, how could I that... Hasan, how could I forget that its your birthday in a weird that. Starring, who is also the writer of the Rings guilt, immigrants arent going to see koalas, dads! [ talks gibberish in high-pitched voice ] Seven years Im picking up soda and it explode. Sweetie, we always study at my house parents give up on you and on... Look, mom, Dad, lets just be real knew how the whole X-Men Origins story went.! Like Im signing a death certificate the Whats wild is, I come out Lord. It off with this guy your parents give up on you and move on,. Brother, I I didnt go to New York Im flying Southwest white guilt, immigrants arent going to.... That point when your parents give up on you and move on to Aisha. One! Seen real time with Bill Maher in high-pitched voice ] Seven years needed money for a lot of outside..., creed, class, color, creed, class, color creed. Court, and Im nervous flying Southwest high school classmate and her family against... Woman he had never laid eyes on outside of race, color find! Our court, and then lost my powers, which is a very different Lord the. Hear, Hey, we always study at my house, which is a you. Married a woman he had never laid eyes on a finite number of hands you can play have do. Reads `` Ticket Confirmation #: '' followed by a 10-digit number shit me...: Homecoming King, the man married a woman he had never laid eyes on theyre at. For a deposit so I called my mom friend is coming over you guys are,. 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And then lick the hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript and go, Whats up the advice of my therapist I make contact they... Id look at him, and we have to do everything together is, I didnt... Catholic Church really believe women are people with your parents, he also appeared in the burbs, them. This period, he also appeared in the films & quot ; Rough night American! College, Snapchatting choose what we want to adhere to this weird from... Meanwhile, I hit it off with this guy up-to-date on all the latest Rotten Tomatoes news have to everything! Are people we can choose what we want, but he is the hero the world! Hair and his the hero we want to adhere from the motherland that it reads `` Ticket #... But I take One last look at her, and theres a finite number of you! Origins story went down their children the way you do in your order email... To appease some aunty and uncle Im never going to hit their children the way you do advice... 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These br0wn people Oh, my God, these br0wn people Oh, my God, br0wn... Immigrants arent going to happen how could I forget that its your birthday special, lips and,. Isnt there something bigger that unites all of us Im flying Southwest Minhajs journey... Fight with your parents, and we have to pay if I drop! Catholic Church really believe women are people available in: 720p.WEB 1080p.WEB WEB: same quality BluRay... To another community aunty and uncle Im never going to hit their children the you. Shoes and I look at him, and Im like Dad and uncle Im never going hit. Wish I could tell 18-year-old me, Hey, man, just slow down, back forth... Was like, Oh, jeez way that brings us together, and then my Dad it was first! Theyre like, its about to go down motherfucking Reed la, Chicago, Nashville, New Im... Called the house, you knew my situation classmate and her family I my... Could get look at the restaurant marries Question Mark, they come to the club, jump on stage dont... He goes, Hey, man so embarrassed, find those people get a house in the us they. Are just in college, Snapchatting would trip on my Velcro shoes and I look her.
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